A few days ago I received a video of a woman beating up another woman for having an affair with her husband. They had been close friends and apparently when Nkiru, (the woman who was beaten up) left her husband, her friend, Ngozi had assisted her and been there for her. So she was quite hurt that her friend should betray her in this manner.
The video opens with Ngozi talking to someone on the phone in a loud and belligerent voice and Nkiru asking Ngozi to switch off her phone so they could talk. She didn’t switch off the phone nor did she engage in any further dialogue. Instead she jumped up and pounced on Nkiru, pounding her body and pulling her hair. For some odd reason Nkiru didn’t fight back, not that she had much of a chance. She was quite big herself but Ngozi was much bigger and angry enough to kill someone.
Ngozi stripped Nkiru stark naked, wrestled her to the floor like a Sumo wrestler and continued to pound and punch her. Then she opened the door and started screaming so that neighbours could come and witness Nkiru’s shame. At the end of the video one of the people present asked Nkiru why she had an affair with the man and she started to explain what had happened but at that point the video was cut.
Not content with giving Nkiru a sound beating and having still not heard her explanation (or maybe she had but wasn’t buying it), Ngozi proceeded to post the video on social media and within hours it went viral. I came across a discussion on the incident on Facebook and I was horrified to read fellow women congratulating Ngozi for a job well done and insisting that Nkiru got her just dessert.
As more people saw it, further facts began to emerge from people who know them. It turns out that Ngozi had gone to Nkiru’s house with armed thugs hence Nkiru feared for her life and could not fight back. Apparently, Nkiru had in fact explained that she was not having an affair with the man and that the man had been calling her and sending her text messages but her explanation was not shown on the video.
The next day I received another video. This time it was a woman and a young girl. They were not in Nigeria and I couldn’t make out what language they were speaking. They might have been from Cameroun or Ghana. The woman who had lured the girl to her house pretending to be the erring husband, was questioning the girl and instructed her to take off her clothes. She finally took off her clothes after she had pleaded for mercy for a long while and she could see that her tormentor was unrelenting. Then the woman descended on her, beat her with a belt, wrestled her to the ground and pounded her with blows and slaps. It appeared to be a long torturous session during which the woman would take a break and then come back to deliver more blows.
There were some other women in the room and they were laughing and cheering the woman on as she debased a fellow woman in such an obscene manner. Again the video was put on social media and went viral. A young unmarried woman with all her private parts on display, beaten and humiliated for the world to see and fellow women thought it was okay and a suitable punishment for sleeping with a married man!
It seems to be a growing trend, one which many women are applauding and are obviously hoping to emulate if and when their husbands cheat on them. Some have probably even already identified their victims but before you go out there to attack and humiliate unsuspecting women who you feel are about to snatch your man, there are a few things you should know.
Firstly and most importantly, you are committing a criminal offence or maybe several offences. If you go to someone’s house with armed thugs brandishing a gun or any other weapon and then proceed to beat the person up, you could get charged with a range of criminal offences from assault and battery or grievous bodily harm to attempted murder. If you invite her to your house under whatever pretext and then keep her there against her will so that you can strip her naked and beat her up, you can add ‘false imprisonment’ to the list of charges.
Putting the video on the internet and distributing it is cyber stalking which is also a criminal offence under the Nigerian Cyber Crime Prohibition Act 2015, S24. Once you put that video out there, you can’t withdraw it. Within minutes it is copied and distributed through different mediums some of which you lose control of like WhatsApp. Don’t forget, it serves as evidence of your crimes.
Worse still, in the process of trying to teach her a lesson, you could hit her in the wrong place and accidentally kill her. Needless to say, after that your life as you know it, is pretty much over. A reasonable judge is unlikely to accept your justification that she slept with your husband and therefore you were provoked. It won’t fly. Even if by some miracle you don’t get convicted, you know you have killed someone. Your life will never be the same again. At the end of the day, it could have consequences that you cannot even begin to imagine.
Indeed when you find out your husband is having an affair, you feel an indescribable rage and you just want to hurt someone. It’s understandable, but attacking the woman involved amounts to misdirected aggression. Why don’t you direct it at the real culprit, your husband? After all he is the one who took the vows to be faithful to you and not the woman. Who died and appointed you the monitor of her morals? You have absolutely no business with her. She owes you nothing.
And then what if you go to her house to beat her up and she turns everything on you and beats you up? I know someone who had that experience. She went over to her husband’s mistress’ house all fired up. She went alone and didn’t seem to have a specific plan. The woman pulled her in and gave her a sound beating. Needless to say, her husband was not even sympathetic.
Ngozi now denies making the video and putting it on the social media. She took it down from the site but it’s still out there. People have it on their phones and are still passing it around. Nkiru was so distraught when she saw the video and found out it had gone viral, she attempted suicide. I don’t know if she has children but if she does, imagine how they would feel.
A lawyer has reached out to her and will be taking the matter up. Personally I hope Ngozi is prosecuted and jailed but no punishment will make up for the permanent damage she has done to Nkiru. It doesn’t matter whether Nkiru slept with her husband or not, no one has the right to do that to another human being. Before you commend Ngozi and justify her actions, remember that everyone makes mistakes at some point and the next victim could be your daughter, mother or sister!